Co-Regulation and Co-Dysregulation: Relearning Safety and Connection

Across modern societies and workplaces, autonomy and control are held in high esteem. We praise independence and emotional restraint, often mistaking them for strength. Yet beneath this ideal lies an exhausted and disconnected nervous system. When cultures glorify self-sufficiency, they perpetuate chronic co-dysregulation, systems in which people subtly amplify each other’s stress, shame, and vigilance. What appears as professionalism or composure is often the nervous system’s quiet attempt to survive disconnection. Read on to learn what relational neuroscience reveals about how our bodies are not built for such isolation. In fact, at this stage, the body enters a defensive state that undermines trust, empathy, and cooperation.