Interpersonal Neurobiology Essentials: Mind & Embodied Memory
"Why do affirmations like 'I am safe' often fail when anxiety surges? Interpersonal neurobiology (IPNB) reveals the answer: emotions originate subcortically—20-50ms faster than thought—shaped by relational experiences before cognition intervenes (Öhman, 2005; Schore, 2012).
Traditional CBT teaches us to override feelings with reframing, yet somatic signals create a mismatch: the body screams danger while the mind chants safety. Research shows this leads to treatment dropout as patients reject cognitive explanations when bodily distress persists (Orzechowska et al., 2021). Worse, for trauma survivors, it reactivates childhood gaslighting—recreating misattunement that eroded trust in their own signals (Schore, 2009).
IPNB offers the paradigm shift: Integration, not domination. Healing emerges through co-regulation, somatic attunement, and relational presence—rewiring memory capsules from the bottom up (Siegel, 2012). We're not about self-regulation; we're about co-regulation. Our nervous systems are social organs requiring resonance to thrive."
Discover how this 25-year neuroscience revolution equips therapists, coaches, and leaders to foster genuine resilience—beyond the myth of the autonomous self. Read on to transform your practice with science that honors the whole human." (Siegel, 2012; Schore, 2012)
Co-Regulation and Co-Dysregulation: Relearning Safety and Connection
Across modern societies and workplaces, autonomy and control are held in high esteem. We praise independence and emotional restraint, often mistaking them for strength. Yet beneath this ideal lies an exhausted and disconnected nervous system. When cultures glorify self-sufficiency, they perpetuate chronic co-dysregulation, systems in which people subtly amplify each other’s stress, shame, and vigilance. What appears as professionalism or composure is often the nervous system’s quiet attempt to survive disconnection. Read on to learn what relational neuroscience reveals about how our bodies are not built for such isolation. In fact, at this stage, the body enters a defensive state that undermines trust, empathy, and cooperation.
The Myth of Self-Regulation: From Isolation to Co-Regulation
For decades, psychology and self-help culture have championed the ideal of self-regulation as a mark of maturity and resilience. The individual who can “stay calm,” “manage their emotions,” and “control their reactions” is often celebrated as psychologically advanced. Yet viewed through the lens of relational neuroscience and the body’s lived experience, this notion reveals itself as partial at best. At its core lies a misunderstanding of human neurobiology. Self-regulation, when severed from co- and eco-regulation, becomes not a sign of strength but of disconnection. Our nervous system was never designed to thrive in isolation. Read on to explore why and how we are wired for connection.